Luis drafted a kicker in the third round of our fantasy league last fall. Third round. There are men in this room who still won't make eye contact with him about it. I bring this up not to embarrass him, but so you understand the caliber of decision-making that led to today.
I've known Luis for eleven years, and in that time I have watched him set exactly one thing on fire that he meant to, and roughly nine things he did not. There was the Fourth of July when he swore the flames "add flavor" and served us burgers with the structural integrity of a hockey puck. There was the time he grilled corn still wrapped in the plastic bag. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "That's how the steam gets in." For the record, that is not how the steam gets in.
This is a man who reads waiver wire reports at breakfast but cannot locate the off switch on his own grill. A man whose commitment to a losing quarterback outlasts most people's marriages.
And that's exactly why this next part matters.
Because I've never seen Luis commit to anything the way he commits to Megan. The same guy who overthinks a flex position spot for three hours doesn't overthink her at all. Around Megan he's just steady, and easy, and better. She's the one who taught him the corn comes out of the plastic first, sure. But she's also the one who slowed him down, who laughs at the same terrible jokes I've been enduring for a decade, and who somehow finds his stubbornness charming instead of alarming.
Luis, you got the draft pick of a lifetime, and for once you didn't overthink it.
To Luis and Megan. May your seasons be long, your grill stay lit, and your love never taste like plastic.
Talk through your stories and we'll shape them into a roast best man speech that's unmistakably yours — in minutes.
Make it mine →When's the wedding?
Roast speeches walk a fine line. This one works because every joke comes from a place of obvious affection. The audience laughs because they can feel the love underneath the teasing.
At 311 words, it proves you don't need length to make an impact. Every line earns its place.
If you're not sure how to start your own version, it's often easier to talk your speech out first and shape it into a structured version. You can also explore our guide to writing a wedding speech for a step-by-step approach.
Talk through your stories and let Nail The Speech turn them into a best man speech that sounds like you.
Create Your Speech →Six years ago, Danny called me at two in the morning. Panicked. Breathing like he'd run a marathon.
Right — someone get Aidan an SPF 50. We're in Playa Blanca, and he still treats sunscreen as an optional extra. I'm Harry, Aidan's best mate since university — which means...
Three years ago, Danny called me at two in the morning. Panicked. Breathing like he'd run a marathon.