Eli asked me to keep this short, so I'll be quicker than he is at a menu, which, if you know Eli, is not a high bar.
This is a man who once stared at a diner menu so long the waitress refilled our water three times and eventually just brought him "the usual" for a place he'd never been. He'll ask what you're getting. Then what she's getting. Then he'll order the thing next to the thing you got. Choosing is not his gift.
Except once. He met Rosa, and for the first time in recorded history, Eli knew exactly what he wanted, and he didn't need to see anyone else's plate first.
That's the sincere part, so let it land. Watching him with Rosa is watching a man who spent years hedging every bet finally go all in without a second glance. She's the one decision he made instantly, and the best one he'll ever make.
So to Eli and Rosa: may you never agree on dinner, and always be sure of each other. Cheers.
Talk through your stories and we'll shape them into a funny best man speech that's unmistakably yours — in minutes.
Make it mine →When's the wedding?
This speech leads with humor — but it's warm humor, not stand-up comedy. The laughs create trust with the audience, which makes the sincere moments at the end hit harder.
At 177 words, it proves you don't need length to make an impact. Every line earns its place.
If you're not sure how to start your own version, it's often easier to talk your speech out first and shape it into a structured version. You can also explore our guide to writing a wedding speech for a step-by-step approach.
Talk through your stories and let Nail The Speech turn them into a best man speech that sounds like you.
Create Your Speech →Six years ago, Danny called me at two in the morning. Panicked. Breathing like he'd run a marathon.
Right — someone get Aidan an SPF 50. We're in Playa Blanca, and he still treats sunscreen as an optional extra. I'm Harry, Aidan's best mate since university — which means...
Three years ago, Danny called me at two in the morning. Panicked. Breathing like he'd run a marathon.