Picture a grown man on his hands and knees at 7am, whispering "come to Daddy" to a spatula that has fallen behind the fridge. That was Marcus the morning of his first flat-warming, the day I officially became his best mate — and yes, we retrieved the spatula, and yes, he later served me eggs cooked with it.
I'm Priya, in case the matching outfit didn't give it away, and I've had a front-row seat to Marcus for eleven years now.
Let me tell you about Marcus's confidence, because it is a beautiful, load-bearing feature of his personality that has never once been supported by evidence. This is a man who told me he could "definitely" assemble a wardrobe without instructions. We named the finished product Steve. Steve had three doors and a personality disorder. Steve leaned. Steve is technically still standing in his old flat, and I think of Steve as a monument to optimism.
This is also a man who is chronically, aggressively late — but only to things that are for him. His own birthday drinks? Forty minutes. A dentist appointment? He's practically early. Ask him to help you move house at 8am on a Sunday, and there he is at 7:45 with coffees, a van, and that spatula in his back pocket.
And that's the thing about Marcus that the jokes don't quite reach. Under all the leaning wardrobes and the misplaced confidence, he is the most present person I know. When my dad was in hospital, Marcus didn't send a text. He turned up. Sat in that awful plastic chair for six hours, made everyone laugh when we badly needed to, and never once mentioned it afterward.
So when he met Elena, I watched the whole man come into focus. She's the one who finally reads the instructions. She's the calm to his chaos, the person who laughs at Steve and then quietly fixes the door. Around her, Marcus doesn't try to be impressive. He just becomes himself, only steadier — like someone finally put the shelf on the wall properly.
Marcus, you found the person who makes you level.
Everyone, raise your glasses to Marcus and Elena — may your marriage be everything Steve the wardrobe was not: solid, upright, and built to last.
Talk through your stories and we'll shape them into a roast best woman speech that's unmistakably yours — in minutes.
Make it mine →Roast speeches walk a fine line. This one works because every joke comes from a place of obvious affection. The audience laughs because they can feel the love underneath the teasing.
At 380 words, it proves you don't need length to make an impact. Every line earns its place.
If you're not sure how to start your own version, it's often easier to talk your speech out first and shape it into a structured version. You can also explore our guide to writing a wedding speech for a step-by-step approach.
Talk through your stories and let Nail The Speech turn them into a best woman speech that sounds like you.
Create Your Speech →Three years ago, Sam called me at eleven at night, absolutely panicking, because he'd bought Jess flowers for their first date and then read online that…
Three years ago, Danny called me at 6am in an absolute panic. Not because of a family emergency.
There's a spreadsheet. Of course there's a spreadsheet. When Danny asked me to be his best woman, he sent me a colour-coded document titled "Wedding — Master Plan v4." Version four.