The Funny Sibling Rivalry Speech

Hi everyone! I'm Mike, [Bride's name]'s brother, and I've been looking forward to this speech because I finally have a captive audience to tell embarrassing stories about my sister. Don't worry, [Bride's name], I promise to keep it PG-rated... mostly.

[Bride's name], remember when you were seven and decided you were going to be a professional singer? You made me sit through daily "concerts" in our living room where you sang the same song over and over again. Mum and Dad said you had a beautiful voice.

I said you sounded like a cat being strangled. Turns out we were both right – you did have a beautiful voice, and I was just being a typical annoying little brother who couldn't appreciate art. Or how about when you were thirteen and had your first crush on Aidanmy Henderson?

You practiced asking him to the school dance by talking to yourself in the mirror for hours. I may have hidden behind your door and recorded some of it on our old camcorder. Don't worry – I deleted the recording... mostly.

Okay, fine, I still have it, but I promise it's in a very safe place. But here's what I didn't tell you then: I was actually really proud of you. You were brave enough to put yourself out there, even when you were nervous.

You've always been like that – willing to take chances, to follow your dreams, to be vulnerable when it mattered. [Groom's name], you should know what you're getting into. [Bride's name] will reorganize your entire closet without asking – and somehow make it better.

She will cry at every movie, even the comedies, especially the comedies. She will insist on taking seventeen photos of her food before eating it, and yes, you'll have to wait. And she will always, always be right in arguments – even when she's wrong, she's somehow still right.

It's a special talent. But you should also know that she's the most loyal person you'll ever meet. She'll defend you even when you're clearly in the wrong.

She'll remember your birthday, your anniversary, your favorite coffee order, and that thing you mentioned liking once three years ago. She'll make you laugh when you're sad, calm you down when you're stressed, and probably reorganize your life in the best possible way. [Bride's name], I may have spent our childhood trying to annoy you, but you've spent your whole life making me proud to be your brother.

[Groom's name], welcome to the family – and good luck keeping up with her! Trust me, it's worth the effort.