[Bride's name], I have been trying to write this speech for about four months. I've started it on napkins, in the notes app on my phone, and once on the back of a parking ticket. So if this doesn't come out perfectly, just know that the effort was there, even if the execution is a bit wobbly.
Here's what I know about you. You are the only person I've ever met who can burn toast and still somehow make breakfast feel like a five-star experience. You sing in the shower like nobody's listening, which is a good thing because I am always listening and it is genuinely terrible. You cry at every dog video on the internet. Every single one.
But you're also the person who drove three hours in the rain to pick up my mum when her car broke down, without telling anyone. You're the person who sat with me on the kitchen floor at 2am when I didn't get that promotion, and instead of saying "it'll be fine," you said, "that's rubbish and I'm sorry." That meant more to me than any pep talk ever could.
I didn't know what I was looking for before I met you. I just knew something was missing. And then you walked into that pub quiz with the wrong answer to the capital of Australia and somehow everything clicked.
You make me a better man. Not in some dramatic, movie-speech kind of way, but in the small, daily, showing-up kind of way.
I love you, [Bride's name]. I am so proud to call you my wife. Cheers, everyone.
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