The stepdad survival guide

Evening, everyone. I'm [Your name], [Groom's name]'s stepdad. I've had the job for about fifteen years now, and I have to say, the pay is terrible, but the perks are alright. Free hugs at Christmas, someone who actually laughs at my jokes, and now, a wedding with an open bar. I'd say I'm doing well.

When I first met [Groom's name], he was nine years old, and he greeted me by asking if I could do a backflip. I couldn't. I still can't. I think that set realistic expectations for our relationship early on.

We bonded over football, mainly because we both supported losing teams and needed someone to share the misery with. Saturday afternoons were our thing, yelling at the telly, eating too many crisps, and pretending we knew better than the manager. We didn't. We never did.

As [Groom's name] grew up, I watched him become a man I'm incredibly proud of. He's hardworking, thoughtful, and he makes a cracking cup of tea, which in this family is basically a qualification.

[Bride's name], I've been watching the two of you closely, as stepdads do, and I can see how happy you make him. He smiles more. He stands a bit taller. And he's finally stopped leaving his washing on the floor, so clearly you have powers I never had.

Please raise your glasses to [Bride's name] and [Groom's name]. May your marriage be long, your arguments be short, and your football teams be slightly less disappointing than ours. Cheers!