A loving roast for the groom

🔥 Roast 2.2 min read281 wordsFriend

Good evening everyone. I'm [Your name], and I've been asked to say a few kind words about [Groom's name]. I'll do my best, but I don't have much to work with. Just kidding. Sort of.

Let me start with the basics. [Groom's name] is the kind of man who once tried to iron a shirt while wearing it. He's the kind of man who thought the capital of Australia was Sydney until last year. He's the kind of man who still doesn't understand how his own thermostat works. And somehow, against all odds, he's convinced this incredible woman to spend the rest of her life with him.

[Bride's name], I have to ask - are you sure? I mean, you've seen him eat cereal at 11pm over the kitchen sink, right? You know about the "system" he has for his sock drawer that makes absolutely no sense to anyone else? You're aware that he once got lost in an IKEA for forty-five minutes and had to be rescued by a staff member named Ingrid? You know all this, and you still said yes. That's either true love or an act of extraordinary charity.

But in all seriousness, and I mean this genuinely, [Groom's name] is one of the most decent human beings I know. He'd give you the shirt off his back, probably a wrinkled one because of the ironing situation, but he'd give it. He's kind, he's loyal, and he loves [Bride's name] in a way that makes the rest of us believe love is real.

So here's to [Bride's name] and [Groom's name]. May your patience, [Bride's name], be as endless as [Groom's name]'s ability to lose his car keys. Cheers!

#roast#funny#groom

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